Dead Flowers

by JasmineInWinter

Hi. I am a 36 year-old female artist living in Edinburgh, a migrant from Eastern Europe, someone trying her best not only to survive but to be fully and unapologetically herself as a woman in a world that is still very patriarchal.

 

This piece I painted while finding myself in very difficult circumstances.  I was cut off from the so-called normal world, not by my own choice, for three weeks: I was institutionalized (=forced to stay in a psychiatric institution) against my will, without a mobile, passport and an opportunity to contact family and friends. And without personal belongings.

 

The piece was done using only a few basic cheap quality colours and brushes on a most ordinary sheet of paper that I managed to secure at the hospital by fighting back for every human right I was deprived off. The paper and colours were not provided by the hospital; after a few days of endless requests I was granted the right to make one phone call and organised for some shopping to be done for me by my friends.

 

The title of this painting 'Dead Flowers' refers to the hope and dignity being taken from women who, when faced with difficult circumstances (eg. poverty, abortion, homelessness, domestic abuse, sexual violence, loss of a job etc.) and not having enough support in place, go through a breakdown and are being diagnosed as mentally ill, put on legal drugs (=meds is official name of them), taken to the hospitals to name but a few ways the system uses to silence their voices. It is about their beauty, courage to stay alive and strength they find in themselves to speak up and find their own unique way in a world that has gone truly insane.

 

At the moment I work on a performance which will be a telling of my story but also a story of many other women who found themselves in similar circumstances.

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As I Gaze Upon My Tangled Mind

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Broken-ness